How to be less frustrated with your money

How Is Your Money Feeling?

With Dennise Williams

Sunday, July 16, 2017

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Have you ever felt really annoyed that things are not going your way financially? No matter how hard you plan, things come up and you just cannot save? Worse, you have to borrow to make ends meet, and it seems like the credit card bill can never go down!

If you have, then it's likely you're familiar with feelings of frustration. When we're frustrated, it can feel as if the world is against us as we struggle to regain control of everyday matters.

Now you know that we have all been taught to save for a rainy day and, therefore, we should not have financial stress. That said, for many of us it rains every day, and we are totally frustrated that we cannot get ahead financially.

However, don't despair. According to the website there is a five-step strategy to reduce our frustration. But first of all, we must examine the source of our frustration.


If you think about it, frustration is an emotion that pops up when we don't get what we want. It's essentially 'control' in action. Next time you feel frustrated, check to see if you are feeling out of control and I'll bet the answer is yes.

And if you feel out of control, then you are usually spending out of control as well. So the car just started giving trouble, your relative needed a loan, the children's school expenses came up, and there was a medical crisis that needed cash.

Suddenly it's not an option to carry on as you had planned. You now have to make some changes and you feel compelled to do a few things that you hadn't anticipated. Before you know it, those feelings of frustration are starting to bubble up and you're muttering things like:

• “I don't want to be doing this.”

• “Why can't things just work out as I planned?”

• “Why does everything have to be so hard today?”

• “Why me?!”

Perhaps you should stop fighting life. Sounds strange? Well, if you can believe that life is like a river, then we all need to simply try to understand the flow of what is taking place. Why is there so much drama in your life right now?

All of these thoughts essentially describe your irritation with the current problems. This is pure resistance in action — and it's this resistance that creates frustration. I once read somewhere that we must 'stop fighting life'. That thought has stuck with me ever since because it rings true, right?

Why do we fight life instead of just allowing it to flow? And even more poignant, can we ever win a battle against life? In my opinion, the answer is no. In which case, if it's pointless trying to fight life, we may as well accept it, right? Go with the flow?

Of course, you may consider this a foolish attitude, yet renowned psychologist Carl Jung stated: “What you resist persists.”

That is so true. Have you noticed how the more frustrated you get financially, the more of what you're resisting persists? More financial problems come your way. More of other people's financial problems come your way. Before you know it, more and more of what you are resisting is showing up in your life, and you spiral into a whirlpool of negativity.

So how do you stop it all? How do you gain control of your financial life so that you can save and invest and grow wealth?

We must take control of our mind and our thinking before it takes control of us.


1. Become aware. Notice when those feelings of frustration start to creep up on you.

2. Identify why you are frustrated. Is it because you are trying to control something?

3. Remember the saying 'What you resist persists'. Know that if you keep resisting whatever is happening to you, more of it will show up in your life.

4. Consider if you are thinking about what you don't want. Remember that this is essentially negative thinking in action and is to be avoided at all costs.

5. Accept what is happening. Simply let go of trying to control your situation and accept it. Instead of fighting life, flow with it and notice how much easier things become.

From a dollars-and-cents perspective, it means that you have to stop spending mindlessly. Get a financial coach to help you see the emotions driving your spending. A financial coach can help you understand the feelings behind the budget you live with and help you to make positive steps and stop focusing on the negatives.

You don't have to face your financial frustrations alone.

Dennise Williams, MBA (Banking & Finance) is a journalist, TV producer, certified practitioner NLP coach, and has 15 years' experience in the financial services industry. You can see more of her work at and contact her at .




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