What to tell him when the sex is bad

By SIMONE MORGAN All Woman writer morgans@jamaicaobserver.com

Monday, January 30, 2012

ONLY a woman who has had the experience can relate to how sexually frustrating it is when her partner leaves her unsatisfied. It is even more irritating when he sports that 'pleased puss' face right after sex that reads, 'I just gave her the best sex ever'.

But lots of women live with partners for years and never orgasm, or even feel an iota of joy because their partners are literally 'bad inna bed'. And because they fear their men won't take the news well, these women suffer in silence.

But there is a way around it. There is a way to let him know he's no Don Juan, while saving his dignity and ensuring your satisfaction.

Clinical psychologist Dr Pearnel Bell says that while she doesn't believe a woman should build a man's ego when he doesn't deserve it, she shouldn't try to belittle him either.

"Instead of just [lying about] how great he was, you should try and reason it out," Dr Bell said. "Lovemaking should be about the woman teaching the man how to love her, and the man teaching the woman how to love him. It is not a starboy thing going on, and men should humble themselves and learn."

She said if this is not done, then it could lead to eventual frustration for the woman.

Here's how to do it:

1 Play games. Have your games involve suggestions, like "let's try that move we saw in that movie". When that move doesn't work for you, move on to another.

2 Remember that no one is truly bad in bed, some people are just more schooled than others. So if he hasn't had many lessons in the art of romancing, be his teacher. Whip out your copy of the Kama Sutra and teach him step by step the tricks that will turn him into a love machine. Be patient with him, remember that not everybody's an 'A' student.

3 If your partner is the type who can deal with the truth in a civilised manner, be honest. Tell him that there is no limit to sex and you want to spice things up because you love him. Let him know that you want him to bring out the 'animal' in both of you.

4 If you are the brave sexual type, masturbate. Do this in your lover's presence, never failing to touch your body exactly the way you would want him to. This way both of you will benefit as not only will you get him aroused but you will send him the message through your moans and he will pay attention to what you are doing. This way may also be the perfect opportunity to tell him what you want when both of you are aroused.

5 Letting him know what you like is helpful to both of you but being vocal may well turn him on too. Guide his hands the next time you are making love. After a session of bad lovemaking give him a few minutes to regain his strength then get him aroused again. This time, take control and do exactly what you would want him to do to you. This way you can get your point across and make him feel like you want more of him at the same time. You may not, but making him feel like you want him will encourage him to do things that will please you.

Do/Would you disclose details of your salary with your spouse?
	Yes
	No

View Results
Results published weekly in Sunday Finance

Username:
Password:

Notorious 'mountain man' arrested in parking lot

What to tell him when the sex is bad