DESPITE whatever you may have heard, it’s not only women who take the time to sum up their competition when they lose out to another woman. Yes, a man also gets rattled when a woman chooses another man over him.
Often the jilted woman reacts more emotionally than a man in the same situation, but men also hate being rejected. A man who loses his woman to another man or fails to conquer the object of his affection will spend time trying to figure out why he lost.
Having money means a lot to most men. They want to be able to impress or take care of their women; so yes, a man wonders if his lady love chose someone else for strictly financial reasons. In fact, if this is the case, that can be a huge blow to his ego. No man wants to lose a woman to another man because he is unable to adequately provide for her. One of the worst things a woman can do to a man who thinks he’s doing his best is to tell him she can find a better provider. It will rattle him to his core, and oftentimes will be very difficult to get over.
Perhaps even more than lack of money, no man wants to lose his woman to another man because of sexual inadequacy. If a woman cheats on her partner, one of the first things the victim does is to visualise the image of his woman in bed with that other man. He is perpetually haunted by the question: “Is he a better lover than I am?” Some men will muster up the courage to actually ask, even if it’s not a straightforward question, because they are very curious to know and want to improve even if that relationship is over. Some men will never ask. Their egos will not allow them to ask such a question. They would rather torment themselves with the thoughts, for they cannot handle the answer, if in fact their worst fears are confirmed.
Although a lot of men strongly believe that once they have money, looks are of little consequence to women, a man does question himself about his attractiveness when rejected. Unlike women, men are better at hiding the fact that they feel threatened by a man who is physically more attractive. However, if you get them to open up, you will be surprised at how fragile a man’s ego is. So yes, a man will sum up a more attractive man who makes him feel threatened.
Having money, good looks and being a great lover are all plus factors for men, but one of the biggest mistakes men make sometimes is thinking that material things are the greatest attractions for all women. Not true. Depending on the type of woman, sometimes it’s not about how much money a man has, or the cars and houses that he owns, that will attract a certain kind of woman. It’s about what makes him different from all the others – how he treats her, how much love and respect he shows her, how he values and treasures her. It’s about how much time he takes to really understand her so that he can fulfil her needs and love her right. A woman who already has material comfort will appreciate a man who comes to her with something far deeper than material things. He must speak to her soul.
Marie Berbick aka ‘The PR Girl’, is a communications specialist, motivational speaker and founder of the women’s ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment & Restoration (SUPHER). Follow her on Twitter @thePR Girl or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.