THE experts will tell you that successful relationships are based on trust and honesty, and that trust, once broken, erodes a relationship’s foundation. And if your partner is unable to forgive and forget, deception will set the stage for the crumbling of the love you thought would last. Last week we asked some women to share the lies they told their exes, from the simple little white fibs, to the huge, life changing deceptions. Here’s what they said:
1. Georgia, 42: I faked a pregnancy.
Forty-two-year-old Georgia said her ex-boyfriend had migrated, with promises to still love and support her financially. But after two months away and no Western Union funds coming in, she was getting desperate. She called and told him she had visited the doctor and was two months’ pregnant.
“He was very excited because he always wanted a child,” Georgia said. “Every month he would send me money to eat right and to go to my doctor’s visits. After nine months I told him he had a son. The original plan was to say the child died during delivery, but I changed my mind.”
And so the money continued coming. Georgia said he had originally planned to return in two years and she thought that by then she would have had time to make up a better lie. However, he surprised her by coming back when the child was supposed to be four months old because he couldn’t wait to see his son.
“Of course he was mad. It was one big fracas,” she said, not wanting to get into more details. “That was why we broke up.”
2. Katie, 28: I told him I’d never been touched.
I was dating this guy who knew my family and assumed that because of the way I was raised — a deacon’s daughter — I was a saint. So of course I couldn’t let him know that I was ‘experienced’ before I got together with him. Even though I had no standards when it came to hooking up, I resisted every effort he made, until about six months into the relationship. Then, I had to pretend that I was an amateur for a long, long while. It turns out so was he, and we broke up after I realised I would have probably been doomed to boring sack sessions for the rest of my life.
3. Jackie, 48: I told him that my lover was my cousin.
I was married and my husband was always working out of town so I was bored a lot of the time. I soon met this guy who delivered baked goods to the shop my husband and I operated and when people started talking and word got back to my husband, I convinced him that the guy was my cousin. He believed me, and told everyone else to butt out of his relationship.
He only realised the truth when I told him I was leaving him, for my “cousin”.
4. Stacy-Ann, 27: I told him I had a miscarriage, but I really had an abortion.
When she discovered that she was pregnant, Stacy said she knew she could not handle it. She already had two children and their father was not supportive. And her then boyfriend did not have the qualities she wanted in a dad and she did not want to spend the rest of her life with him. However, he was very excited, especially after visiting the doctor with her and finding out she was indeed pregnant.
“He was excited bad,” she recalled. “He started to tell his family and friends and fly couldn’t pitch on me. But really and truly I didn’t want another child, so one day I called and told him I was not feeling well and was going to the doctor. I had an abortion and that evening I told him I had lost the child. He cried like a baby and was depressed for months. I really felt sorry for him.”
5. Mitzy, 28: I told him that the sex was good.
In an attempt to boost her boyfriend’s ego, not only would Mitzy make fake pleasurable sounds during sex, but at the end of each session she would tell him how good the sex was. “Most of the time I would tell him the sex was sooo good, even though I have never had an orgasm with him,” she said.
6. Carlene, 22: I told him I was by Monique’s house, when I was with Paul.
Even while she was wrapped in the arms of her lover, Carlene would have no qualms telling her boyfriend when he called her cell phone that she was with her girlfriend. Other times she would put on her ‘sleepy’ voice and tell him she was home sleeping, though she was actually in Paul’s bed.
7. Kaydian, 26: I told him that I have only been with three men.
“I have had more boyfriends than even I can count,” Kaydian confessed. “So whenever I meet someone and they ask me how many men I have been with in the past, obviously I tell them what they want to hear — three. What difference does it make how many men I have been with? It’s not their concern!”
8. Simone, 25: I told him I was faithful to him throughout our relationship.
“You can’t really tell a guy that you’re cheating because most of them can’t handle it. So even now, my ex believes I was faithful to him throughout our relationship, because I assured him. Little does he know that the minute he stopped treating me right, I started looking for a better guy. And then when the sex got bad — and the sex was the only thing holding me at that point — I just started doing it with someone else. I told him months after, when my affair got serious, that I was done with him.”