All Woman

Doc's advice to older men: Focus on quality lovemaking for a healthy sex life

By NADINE WILSON All Woman writer wilsonn@jamaicaobserver.com

Monday, November 19, 2012    

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MEN are often concerned about their sex lives as they get older, but general and anti-ageing physician and chairperson of the National Family Planning Board Dr Sandra Knight says older men can still have a healthy sex life if they focus more on the quality rather than the quantity of the lovemaking they do with their partners.

"When you are 19, as breeze blow in front of your pants it pops up; when you are 30, it takes a storm; when you are 40, it needs a hurricane; but in your 50s and 60s it would need a cyclone or a typhoon," she said. "But the probability of a typhoon in Jamaica is very small, so we are going to have to use other things to really motivate our sexual connections with our partners."

Addressing a roomful of mostly middle-aged men at a Kiwanis Club of Kingston luncheon last Tuesday at the Wyndham Kingston hotel, Dr Knight didn't hold any punches as she spoke on the topic, 'Sexual health and the ageing: What older men may still not know about sex'.

"When you get older, the fact is you will not be able to 'perform' and the truth is that it's the quality of the interaction that will now matter," she said.

While a man's appetite for sex does not necessarily diminish because of age, Dr Knight pointed to the fact that statistics have shown up to 60 per cent of men will experience some sexual dysfunction by the age of 50 due to the decrease in testosterone production.

But although sexual dysfunction is imminent for some, Dr Knight noted that men in monogamous relationships usually have better quality sex when they get older. They are also usually happier and healthier.

"Polygamous males in a very non-polygamous society, it's a very stressful habit for men. The stress to perform with multiple females, the stress to 'mind' multiple females, the stress to appear charismatic around multiple females, becomes complicated and almost impossible. But if you have created a wholesome, transparent, comfortable relationship with a female, then all of these stresses tend to go away," she said.

"So you cannot be a 70 year old, walking around with a 20 year old. It's not healthy, your heart might not be able to handle it," she said.

Another key ingredient in maintaining sexual longevity, the doctor said, is to practice a healthy lifestyle. But in the event that one was not in place prior to reaching old age, there are some things a man can still do to enhance his sex drive.

Taking supplements such as vitamins Dr Knight said is very helpful. Among those supplements the doctor encourages men to take are vitamins B12, B6, B2 and Omega 3. Indian Ginseng and ginko biloba are also very good as well, she noted.

And forget the whole notion of being viewed as kinky, Dr Knight said. She encouraged older men, to explore whatever avenues will allow them to keep lovemaking fresh and interesting.

"Wherever you get your excitement from as you get older, once it's not illegal or dangerous, there is really nothing that's off limits. Nothing is bad if you are called a kinky old man, just say 'thank you," she said before adding, "As you get older, you have to generate more creativity and innovation. The problem is that when you do it with someone half your age, you look like you are kinky."

The doctor said it was very important to contextualise sex as men get older, although men can still have sex regardless of their age.

"Age is no limit. Feel free to have fantastic, awesome sex, but you really have to work at it, it's not going to come easy," she said.

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