Why does love go bad?

Friday, August 17, 2012

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IT is so refreshing for me to observe couples getting cosy on the grounds of Devon House. Always warms my heart without fail.

Whether they are sharing ice cream and playfully letting some get on the other person so they can enjoy slurping it off, or just sitting together closely, wordlessly enjoying the ambience, it just looks good and feels even better. Love is lovely and should always be celebrated.

I’m a love junkie, I get a contact high whenever I see lovers walking hand in hand or being publicly affectionate. There’s just something about it that brings a big broad smile to my face and I have to restrain myself from running over to them for a group hug and sprinkle confetti.

Having observed so many couples over the years, I now wonder, how do lovers migrate from: "I can’t get enough of you," to "I can’t stand the sight of you"? When did googley eyes get replaced by cut eye or dirty glances? What happens so terribly to make your lovey dove become a big john crow? Chills run up and down my spine, and not in a good way, when I hear lovers quarrelling, because I know that there was a time when the only argument they would have is who should hang up first. How does a couple transcend from talking all the time about everything, to mumbling then silence? Sometimes it doesn’t even need to be vocalised. I observe couples having issues in traffic and neither of them is even saying a word. Just the body language and the unhappiness registered on their faces will speak volumes.

I’m usually in no rush, so whenever I’m in traffic I take the time to scrutinise my neighbours.

One young lady was trying so hard to put more distance between herself and the driver that she was practically sitting on the door. There were children in the back totally oblivious to the tension in the front so I knew this was a family, but the air was so tense up front, I felt it all the way over in my car. What causes this disintegration of something so beautiful at one stage to become an ugly affair?

Now I know that couples will have disagreements, this world is not perfect and if my siblings and I can quarrel and we have parents, upbringing and blood in common what say two perfect strangers trying to get along. When it starts getting personal and ugly names are being exchanged then that to me is just disrespectful and wrong. I decided to do an informal survey and found that the reasons offered up varied from infidelity (usually from my female respondents) to slacking off (usually from my male respondents).

Some men even went as far as to suggest that the person they met had morphed into a whole other human being that went from gentle, calm and loveable to an angry, mean, extremely sensitive woman. Their ladies stopped dressing up, being sexy and maintaining their figures. The females however, complained extensively that the males get distracted and tend to start ignoring them once they have ‘caught’ them and that leads to suspicion which fosters all sorts of other destructive behaviour patterns.

Having heard and read all the various reasons, I’m still confused. Is it that we send our representatives out on dates in the initial stages of a romance and then once things seem to have solidified our real selves come to the fore and this cause culture shock? I guess I will never know.

Let us live in love folks. Try to remember the good times, the laughter and the reasons you and your partner hooked up in the first place. Anger causes stress and stress ultimately makes us very unhealthy. Have a great love filled weekend.

Follow me on Twitter @ElvaJamaica or email me your comments.





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