WE have made it to another glorious weekend here on the Rock and I'm so happy I'm here to celebrate it with you. I may not have accomplished all I set out to do at the beginning of the week, but I have the opportunity to start over or at least continue. Bless up all my well-wishers, family and friends.

Speaking of friends, social media, the likes of Twitter, Facebook, Tagged etc, have given new meaning to the term. Before the introduction of these 'pages' into our daily lives, a friend was described as: "A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations."

In the last few years, that very simplistic definition has had to be revisited to include "persons added to a list for the purpose of social networking". Coming straight from the Oxford dictionary — I'm too lazy to make this stuff up folks, that is what I saw and have reproduced in my column.

The social media links are really extraordinary tools that help us stay in touch with the world and share our triumphs, growth sorrows and everything in-between.

While I appreciate the use of these facilities to keep in touch with people I do business with, went to school with or keep on top of all the happenings on the party scene, I really don't consider my thousands of followers and fans, some of whom I've never met, as my 'friends'.

I'm old school. My friends and I have been through fire, fought, hugged, cried, and shared in aspects of each others' lives, some of which can never be mentioned again, not even in a quiet moment to myself in the confines of my mind.

I know what my friends are capable of and can depend on them to be there tomorrow, whether I can return the favour or not. If one of my friends got locked up, chances are we would be cellmates, because I would have been swinging right alongside them in the melee that landed him/her there.

I still get a lump in my throat if I have to refer to an acquaintance as 'friend'; it just feels hypocritical. All I have to go by is your display picture -- which may or may not be you -- and the small bio on your profile, which also may or may not be true. I have had to do a double take sometimes on meeting some of my 'friends' in the streets. Someone bearing a name such as 'SlimazMary' actually looked like she swallowed her former self and multiplied. Some people use glamour shots as their representation, so when you encounter them in person the contrast is so great, you may need oxygen. Which is why I don't subscribe to online dating. That's a topic for another week but I'm just putting that out there.

There are a few people who get excited about living their lives through social media. They genuinely believe that all the people they've added are really their friends.

One can't forget the story of the ailing grandmother who called her granddaughter to her bedside and told her of the property, money and stock valued at millions she was leaving her. The shocked granddaughter gasped when she heard of this fortune, only to have grandma say that it is on Farmville on Facebook and she hoped her granddaughter would maintain it even after she expired.

The amount of times I have been accosted via mail and chastised for walking by a 'friend' and ignoring them are too many to be highlighted in this small space. One fellow was so angered that he deleted me as his 'friend', because I did not hail him even after we exchanged pleasantries a couple of times on Twitter. How dare me! I wonder if he realises there is life outside of social media. Maybe not, poor little thing; he probably has no real friends.

I appreciate all the people who find me interesting enough to take the time to 'like' my fan page; follow me on Twitter and share in my life moments, but please, let's keep it real. If you see me, feel free to say hello, I won't bite, but don't expect me to be at your niece's baby shower, recognise you at a party or hug you every time we meet. It just doesn't work like that.

Have a great weekend folks and remember to get out, get some sunshine and live in love. Feedback is welcomed at elvachatalot@yahoo.com and if you still so inclined after reading this follow me on Twitter @ElvaJamaica.

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