Sheer harassment and stepping carefully

Letters to the Editor

Sheer harassment and stepping carefully

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

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Dear Editor,


The issue of harassment takes a toll on the person being harassed. When we begin to make an attempt to put the brakes on the harasser there should be measurable units of occurrences matched by measurable occurrences of the attempts at informing the harasser to cease and desist.


The harassment phenomenon now takes a different pitch as it is now more pronounced as a legal battle that results in open anguish, long court sittings, and other forms of open formal and informal settlements.

I am no authority on the subject other than the ordinary man who sees absolutely nothing wrong with paying a woman a genuine compliment occasionally. She is at liberty to react as she wishes. However if her reaction is one of “why don't you buzz off?”, I am not likely to run any complimentary line on her again until the moon becomes purple.


Let's say I truly wish to put a tag on her, though, I will attempt another or the same compliment down the road. Given that I get the same negative or even cold response, that's it, there will be no third attempt. Maybe not even howdy.

She will always be either comfortable with the fact that I tried to be nice and looks forward to my next attempt, or she will swell up in her mind and begin wondering whether she should confront me the next time, or she will just wish that I got the message and leave her alone.

There can be no hard and fast rule for a scenario like that. Even if she attempts to make a mountain out of a molehill it will get her nowhere.


My conclusion is that where the attitude of the 'intruder' is considered to be clearly out of order, the offended party should make a verbal deal of it on the first attempt, a written deal on the second attempt, and should the offender make a third attempt a written deal, copied upward and attaching the previous, can be sent to the next level.


It is usual for some folks to feel that it will go away by itself or by chance; it will not, a snowball will have a better chance of not melting on a sunny day. Many people cannot be bothered to write; believe me, if it is not written, consider it not said. No one is going to feel comfortable if you write on the second attempt and, if it still persists, let's begin to consider that person may be a predator.


There may be a flip side to this relationship dialogue, though, as there are many beautiful and precious relationships that grew from one individual's dislike, even detest, for the other initially, and those looking on would never understand. True love cannot be legislated.

Clive W Savage
Kingston 6
porkrum@hotmail.com


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