Dealing with a mate who threatens to harm you, or who threatens self-harm if you leave, can't be easy, but it has been many women's reality. Some women call the bluff and move on anyway, but for others, the revelation kept them tied to a ticking time bomb for a long time.
Some share their stories below.
It was the hardest thing ever because he would tell me he would kill me and then himself, and I believed because he would beat me up and just abuse me regularly. But I decided that I was done keeping secrets from my family and friends. We reported him but he would still call and text me with threatening messages. The day that ended was when I started seeing someone else and he saw that I had moved on.
At first when he said he would kill me if I left him, I thought it was cute because he didn't want me to be with anyone else. But as the relationship got older, the threats became more real to me. Then he bought a firearm and I officially became scared for my life. I had to literally leave Jamaica in secret for five months and had to be moving around until I heard he had moved on. Ladies, when you hear things like that, do not take it lightly.
My ex used to do this all the time and I started taking it seriously when he would pull knives at me when we were arguing and he thought I was about to walk out on him. I started to get really worried for my life because he also told me that if he ever heard about me telling other people what he did to me in private, I would pay for it with my life. I told my parents because I was scared and I was only 21 years old. Lucky for me, my father knows people who know people and he was ordered to stay away from me.
Dealing with a suicidal person is not the easiest because they tend to threaten their lovers and I was a victim. I decided that if I didn't speak up, no one could save me and so I urge women to speak up about abuse.
I am scared of possessive men. My ex was one of them until he started to threaten me and that was when I decided it was best to report him. Now I am free of that situation that I had to deal with for over five years. Once a man shows one sign of possessiveness, I am done with that.