|Flirting while in a relationship is disrespectful.
There exists a logic that says you should confess all because it is a means of setting yourself free. However, it is not completely safe to share all of who you are with someone you are dating. While there are some things that should be put on table from day one, there are some parts of your past that should remain unknown. You have to reserve a piece of you for you because no man is your god, and for that reason, man can, and most times, will fail you, as the Rushell shares.
I was in an abusive relationship for several years because I fell for this supposedly “nice” guy and decided to move into his house after a few months. Things were rosy at first and then his real colours started to come to the fore. I was punished for talking to even my family. This man literally had me under lock and key. He wasn't dating me; he had me in chains. After some time, I decided to leave. I decided that I wasn't going to get involved with any man for at least a year to heal from all the wounds incurred from that experience, and all the fears I had adopted. However, I met a very nice and handsome guy a few months down the line and ended up falling head over heels in love with him. At first everything was perfect and I thought to myself, maybe I could trust this guy and so I told him my shame story. He was sympathetic until one night two years after, we had a huge argument and he slapped me, called me all the derogatory names my ex called me, and even went to the extreme to say he understood why my ex used to knock me over.
What did this man do to Rushell? He used her past against her.
To be more candid, he was worse than the ex because he knew how much she had hurt, yet he used her secrets to suffocate her.
This is a warning against exposing every detail. People must earn the right to hear some parts of your life and even so, you must be careful! If you have been in an abusive relationship, you can say to the person you are dating that you were in an abusive relationship, but don't go blabbing every detail of every event.
You must be honest with your partner about who you are and where you came from because this person is trusting you and giving you all they really have – their time. So yes, honesty is imperative; however, there are some experiences that are worth burning.