Are the arguments worth it?

By Miss Kes

Friday, January 19, 2018

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Relationships can have days and nights of bickering, because let's face it, we are not all the same. But some arguments go too far, and when the underlying issues are brought to the surface, the parties realise that the issues are minor, surface issues and should not have devolved into arguments of volcanic proportions.

Most time if arguments are analysed, we will see that they are stemming from past wounds from previous relationships, some even going as far back as childhood. To really experience love, it is highly recommended that we seek the means to heal before entering into relationships with other people, especially people who have not healed either.

So what do you do when you find yourself at a point where you're arguing non-stop?

1. Heal your heart

Seek help by any means necessary. It is highly suggested that you seek out a relationship specialist/coach who can guide you towards change. You have to be a whole person to give of your heart. Whatever it may be that has caused you not to trust, you have to face all the wounds and get them healed. You have to be totally healed to have a healthy relationship.

2. Learn as much about your partner as you can

Sometimes it is really not about you or the issue, but rather that the argument triggers a memory or an insecurity. It is wise to spend a lot of time getting to know your partner so you can have a clear blueprint of the buttons not to touch. It will also bring you to a place of deep intimacy because you will not only be aware of your partner's wounds, but be more sympathetic and respectful.

3. Be there for yourself as well

Do not neglect your partner's cry for love and affection, but be there for yourself as well. Do not ignore your own needs in the quest to please your partner.

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