RARELY does it raise eyebrows as much as older women/younger men relationships, but still, older men/younger women relationships come with their fair share of questions.
So why would a younger woman choose an older man when she can have someone closer to her age, someone with more time to build and enjoy a family? What about having a man whose health is of less concern and who has greater stamina for an exciting sex life?
Despite concerns about health and great sex, here are five reasons why a woman might find an older man a more attractive option over a younger one.
From the beginning of time men were programmed to provide security for their women. This means a man is expected to provide for and protect his woman, so financial security is high on the list of what makes a man attractive to a woman. It is more likely that an older man has certain assets that a woman needs to be comfortable because older men have had more time to achieve and be stable financially.
A younger woman might feel much safer investing in an older man because she knows he has seen and done enough. His days of playing the field are more likely to be over, so he knows what her expectations are and how to meet them. Emotionally, she may also feel safer with him. If an older man is financially stable and loves her, she is even more likely to choose him over someone younger who is still experimenting and considered high-risk.
3. The daddy factor
We might deny it as much as we want, but some younger women will marry an older man simply because he either reminds her of the caring father she grew up with or she is looking for that father figure she never had. In fact, researchers including Professor Madeleine Fugere, author of The Social Psychology of Attraction and Romantic Relationships, have found that many women who prefer older men have had some issue related to their fathers. Many are seeking to find something they missed or hold on to something they cherished with their fathers.
4. She wants a sugar daddy
This is probably the most widely believed motivation for younger women/older men relationships. It might not be a fair assessment in some cases, but often the much younger woman is seen as simply looking for a sugar daddy — a man to pay her bills and give her a comfortable lifestyle. However, it is fair to acknowledge also that there are older men who just want a younger woman — oftentimes a beautiful younger woman — to serve as an ego booster. Men like to show off on each other when it comes to their women. When an older, financially comfortable man has a much younger, beautiful woman on his arm, it rarely matters how much money she cost him, especially if he is not sharing her. His ego means more.
5. She loves him
Younger women do choose older men for matters of the heart. An older man's experience does put him at an advantage in terms of his understanding of what a woman needs. Younger men often want to play the field as much as possible while they still can and most women do not want the heartache that comes from a relationship with a cheating man. If she finds an older man who knows how to take care of her heart, shows her love, respects and honours her, she might opt for him over a younger man who is considered emotionally high-risk.
A successful relationship is very possible between people regardless of age difference. Whether it is younger man/older woman or older man/younger woman, always remember that age is just a number when two people love each other.
Marie Berbick is a communications specialist, motivational speaker, ordained minister and founder of the women's ministry Sisters United for Prayer, Healing, Empowerment & Restoration (SUPHER). Follow her on Facebook and Instagram @MarieBerbick. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.